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Hi Tish FM 4by Leslie LoweHi Tish,I married a madame. We met in a nail salon, where I got my nails doneevery week. I know, this was odd for a man, but I'd found that friendsappreciated my careful grooming.My wife's name was Kimberly. That day we met she asked me which of twoOPI colors she should get for her toes, "You're A Pisa Work" or "I'm NotReally A Waitress." I told her definitely the latter, since winter wascoming on and it would go with her richer colors. "You're so right!" shesaid, and gave me her email, kimberly@kpbhappyendings.com and hercellphone number.That very afternoon, I sent her a text and an email saying how much Ienjoyed meeting her, and she wrote back with a free massage coupon. Thatwas her profession, full-body massage, "For pleasure, not for health," isthe way she put it. I know, I know; you're thinking how can anyone be sonaive, but I just was, okay?So I got my massage, and it was divine, just two problems. First, I wasso much more aroused than usual. Roger Prong: I must do something about that bastard, he thought.He turned on the light and crept out of bed to hunt in his bogus-letterhead file. Here were an assortment of official-looking stationeries, some intended to deceive the recipient, others frankly aimed only at blowing the mind.WHITE HOUSE, WASHINGTON, D. C. said one. TRANSYLVANIAN CONSUL, OFFICE OF THE CULTURAL EXCHANGE, said another. (He used that only to ask people to report any unusually large bats in their neighborhood. )A third, especially tasteful, proclaimed nothing less than THE PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIK- HOOD OF OMNIA ESOTERICA (POOE), HOUSE OF APOSTLES OF NULLES, BUREAU OF THE DIVISION OF THE DEPARTMENT OF MISCELLANEOUS PROJECTS.A fourth represented FRIENDS OF THE VANISHING MALERIA MOSQUITO (COMMITTEE TO BAN D. D. T. ). A fifth, embossed with a handsome African sculpture of a three-eyed goddess, claimed to be THE CULT OF THE BLACK MOTHER, THUGGEE SOCIETY, DIVISION OF HASHISH IMPORT AND AFRO-GENEOLOGY; this was used.
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